'What the hell is the difference between a painting done by a person who wishes to paint like a child, and a child's painting?" - Patsy
"Time is like a stretched elastic band. You can't let it go or it'll come back and take your eye out." - Patsy
Edina - 'Have you eaten something?' Patsy - 'Not since 1973'
"Gay is the best excuse you can have for not being boring!" - Eddy
Patsy - 'My name is Patsy Stone and I'm an alcoholic. What she did was an act of humanitarian mercy.' Judge - 'That is no excuse for stealing a crate of champagne.'
Saffy - 'Have you ever checked your breasts yourself?' Patsy - 'No, but you can't miss them. I've never had any complaints.'
Edina - 'Inside of me, sweetie, inside of me, there is a thin person just screaming to get out.' Mother - 'Just the one, dear?'
"Meg Ryan, movie star?! I'll be the judge of that." - Patsy
'One snap of my fingers and I can raise hemlines so high the whole world's your gynecologist.' - Patsy
"Neat? She was so anally retentive she couldn't sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture!" - Patsy
Edina - 'Just remember one thing. Cancel my aromatherapy, my psychotherapy and reflexology, my osteopath, my homeopath and my naturopath, my crystal reading, my shiatsu, my organic hairdresser... and see if I can be rebirthed next Tuesday afternoon.' Bubble - 'Consider it done.'
"You cannot give these sort of clothes to the poor! Don't have they enough to contend without suffering the humiliation of wearing last season!" - Eddy
Eddy - 'What are you drinking Patsy?' Patsy - 'Chanel No. 5'
Patsy - 'I think the photographer really caught something.' Saffy - 'Syphillis!'
Eddy - 'She can't go back to her flat until it's been fumigated' Saffy - 'Why not? I thought sniffing chemicals is what she did best, maybe it will be the one substance that will make her socially acceptable' Eddy - 'Darling it would kill her' Saffy - 'EXACTLY!'
Saffy - 'Mum! That man just pinched me!' Patsy - 'Don't worry, he's very old and obviously blind.'
Edina - 'I don't know what went wrong with Justin. We adored each other.' Patsy - 'He's gay.'
"Forget your E's and your LSD's, there's a whole alphabet of drugs available!" - Eddy
Edina - 'Patsy's an insomniac, darling.' Saffy - 'More like the living dead.'
Saffy - 'Is this my drink?' Edina - 'No sweetie it's Patsy's, put the lid on before it evaporates.'
"The last mosquito that bit me had to book into the Betty Ford Clinic." - Patsy
Patsy: 'What will you drink if you stop drinking?' Eddie: 'I shall drink water.' [pause] Eddie: 'It's a mixer, Pats. We have it with whiskey... I mean, You've given up drinking before.' Patsy: 'Worst eight hours of my life.'
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